Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

I Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (Also Proverbs 11:16 and 12:4)

Leviticus 19:32 Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the Lord.

Ephesians 6:2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. (Also Exodus 20:12.)

I Timothy 5:3 Honour widows that are widows indeed.

4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

 

MEMORY VERSE: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour. —I Thessalonians 4:4

 

CENTRAL THOUGHT: The home is to be a place where honor is given. God is reverenced as the head of the man; the husband and father is honored as the head of the home and one who gives himself for his wife; the wife and mother is honored as the virtuous crown of her husband and guide of the house; the widowed and the elderly are to be reverenced, and the estate of marriage is to be reverently regarded as a holy bond.

 

WORD DEFINITIONS

 

Ephesians 5:33 “Reverence”: to venerate; to treat with deference or reverential obedience.

I Peter 3:7 “According to knowledge”: with wisdom, understanding and consideration. “Honour”: value; worth. “Heirs together of the grace of life”: fellow heirs of the gracious gift of physical and spiritual (eternal) life.

Leviticus 19:32 “Rise up before the hoary head”: stand up (as an expression of honor) in the presence of an aged (gray-haired) person.

I Timothy 5:3 “Honour”: literally, to price; to fix the value. In this word honor is included the material support, or payment for their maintenance that their condition of widowhood required. “Widows indeed”: those who are really desolate and alone.

I Timothy 5:4 “Nephews”: a descendant; grandchild. “Shew piety at home”: to be dutiful; show homage or respect; give support; to practice godliness toward one’s own parents. “Requite their parents”: recompense; to give back the return or exchange due. “[Those who had] nourished and cared for them in their childhood—they must requite that care by honoring and supporting them in their old age.” —Pulpit Commentary

Hebrews 13:4 “Honourable”: Understood by some as an exhortation—let marriage be held in honor by all. “And the bed undefiled”: also an exhortation—let the bed be undefiled.

I Thessalonians 4:4 “Possess his vessel”: to know, by moral self-control, how to obtain mastery over [his vessel] in a becoming, chaste way. Vessel can refer to either a man’s own body, or his wife; both were called by the Jews by this name. “In sanctification and honor”: in a holy and honorable way.

 

LESSON BACKGROUND

 

In his letter to the church at Ephesus, Paul gives the comparison of the institution of marriage to the union of Christ with his bride, the church. As the church submits to and honors Christ, so the wife honors, reveres and submits to her husband.

Peter also speaks specifically to husbands and wives in I Peter 3. After outlining the principle of godly submission of wives to their husbands, he shows the balance in God’s plan by commanding the husbands to use good judgment, self-control and understanding when dealing with their wives, giving them honor and courtesy. The practice—or neglect—of this important principle, Peter says, has directly to do with how effectual a man’s prayers will be.

Paul also admonishes the men of Thessalonica to use self-control, holiness and honor in their relationships with their wives.

Specific commands were given in the Old Testament law concerning honor shown to parents. The elderly were especially to be shown honor and esteem. They were to never be neglected or despised—a command so important that Solomon emphasized it in the book of Proverbs. (Chapter 23:22).

This reverence for the aged and the widow was also taught and carried out by the early New Testament church. Children and grandchildren were to make sure that they cared for their aged or desolate parents—practicing true godliness at home.

These Scriptures give a clear picture of the atmosphere or attitude of mutual honor that God wants in the home, and is the underlying secret of the obedience God requires of a wife to her husband and children to their parents. It sets in place a structure of honor in the family, each component building upon the foundation of honor and worship to God; then a man toward his wife; a wife toward her husband; children to their parents; and adult children toward aged or widowed parents or grandparents.

Indeed, according to the Scriptures, the whole plan of marriage—the bond of matrimony—is to be held in great esteem and sacred honor.

—Sis. Angela Gellenbeck

DISCUSSION:

  1. What Motivates: What attitude will give motivation to the duties of submission, obedience, care, and courtesy in the home?
  2. In Comparison: To whom is the husband compared, in his role as the head? To what is the wife likened to, in her role? Discuss the important characteristics of each.
  1. A Delicate Balance: Because sometimes either a husband or wife’s component is missing or neglected, there is often a resulting misuse of power and/or rebellion in the home. Show the proper balance reflected in the Scriptures.
  2. Marriage is Honorable: How do we demonstrate this?

COMMENTS AND APPLICATION

As these Scriptures began to fit together into a lesson, I have been amazed at the handiwork of God in His divinely-built institution called home! See how it compares to a body— which is also fearfully and wonderfully made—and to the church, which is HIS body? There are so many intricate, individual workings, each of them important to the whole structure.

As we look out into the world, we can see what is missing in many homes: the honor. When honor is lacking, the carrying out of the little duties of care and courtesy are missing, creating a huge void in the lives of men, women, boys and girls.

God is calling us to virtue, holiness and honor, WITHIN OUR HOMES. Can we hear and heed this challenge and be people who demonstrate these principles on a daily basis in our lives? In our words—may they be gracious and honoring to each other. In our actions—let us yield respectfully to and dedicate ourselves to serve the needs of each family member. In our attitudes—what we breathe out, what we ARE—God help us to have genuine regard and esteem for our parents, spouse, children; and value highly and invoke the presence of God in our homes.

—Sis. Angela Gellenbeck

 

REFLECTIONS

 

Our lesson brings back so many wonderful memories to my mind, when as a father I would come home from work. My wife made a special effort to teach our children to show me honor and come running to greet me. “There’s daddy!! He’s coming!! He’s HOME!!” It makes me smile inside just to think of the warm, joyful welcome I got when I walked in the door, and they started grabbing my legs and hugging me. The most precious memories I have as a father are because my wife honored me so much and exemplified it at my arrival. The hot rolls in the oven or some other delicious aroma of the food being prepared for our dinner also made me glad to be the man of this home. I was glad to open a jar for her, take the trash out, or do whatever I needed to do to be a part of this haven. To be home with my family and the honor they showed me made the hardest jobs worth it.

I remember as an air-conditioning/heating serviceman I had many difficult jobs to do. One morning it was icy cold outside and I had to crawl under an old house with a crawl space very low to the ground. As I was removing my coat so I could fit under that dirty house I stopped, put my coat back on, and said in my mind, “I’m not going under there with all those spiders, mice, snakes and who knows what other creatures living under there. I’ll just tell them it’s not worth fixing.” I picked up my tools and started to leave; then I thought about my family and it made me take my coat off and crawl under that old house and give it my best.

My father honored his family by working two and three jobs for years to keep his family comfortable. I count it an honor to do the same for mine. When honor is working between husband and wife and children, there is a picture of a happy, joyful home.

–Bro. James Bell