Genesis 13:8 And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee. . . for we be brethren.

Proverbs 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom. (Also James 4:1)

15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Also 25:15)

18:18 The lot causeth contentions to cease, and parteth between the mighty. (Also 15:18 and Eccles. 10:4)

26:20 Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Romans 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

14:19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.

Philippians 2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

II Timothy 2:24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient.

Hebrews 12:14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord.


MEMORY VERSE: But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace. —James 3:17-18


CENTRAL THOUGHT: The wise man or woman who is a peacemaker is blessed by God, and the Scriptures give clear explanations as to what causes strife, and what creates peace.



Genesis 13:8 “Strife”: quarrel; provocation; contention.

Proverbs 13:10 “Pride”: insolence; arrogance; presumptuousness. “Contention”: quarrel; debate; strife.

15:1 “Grievous words”: words that cause pain and hurt.

18:18 “Lot”: the casting of lots; in today’s language, flipping a coin.

Romans 14:19 “Edify”: The act of building up; bring about spiritual advancement.

Philippians 2:3 “Strife”: Rivalry; ambition.

II Timothy 2:24 “Strive”: fight; contend; dispute. “Gentle”: placid; mild; refers to calming words.

Hebrews 12:14 “Peace”: oneness; wholeness; quietness; rest




The first verse of our lesson is from the story of Abram and his nephew, Lot. Both men had amassed enormous flocks of sheep and herds of cattle, until the herdsmen who tended them began to quarrel with each other over the land. The strife was settled by Abram, who graciously gave Lot first choice of land while he took what was left.

The verses from Proverbs give various reasons and causes of strife and contention: pride, grievous words, and tale-bearing. Other verses in Proverbs speak of a contentious man or a contentious woman and how difficult they are to live with in the home. Many verses in Proverbs deal with the power of the tongue to wound or to heal, to curse or to bless, to kill or give life.

Answers to the problem of strife are given as well. In Biblical times, a common and successful practice was that of casting lots to settle disputes. When done honestly, a neutral object was the deciding factor, both parties understanding that God had His way in the choosing of the lot. Strife is also turned into peace by yielding one’s own selfish way to another, speaking quietly and gently in volatile situations, and refusing to share negative stories about another person.

Isaiah points forward to the righteousness of Christ in a person as a means of bringing about quietness and peace in his or her life. Jesus let us know how to recognize a genuine child of God: when someone is a peacemaker. Other New Testament scriptures admonish us to follow and pursue peace, making every effort to live in peace with each other. Clearly, strife, self-seeking pride, and evil speaking are forbidden to the child of God, while gentleness, patience, humility, honesty—important ways to build each other up—are enjoined.

—Sis. Angela Gellenbeck



  1. What Prompts: According to Genesis 13:8, Proverbs 13:10 and James 4:1, what are the primary causes of strife?
  2. What Promotes Peace: What characteristics and actions of the wise man or the virtuous woman bring peace to the home?
  3. What Changes: Describe what the righteousness of Christ does in the heart and its effect in the home.







We can all look back and see where we could have done better in our home life. If I could do things over, I would implement the simple “casting of lots” principle more in settling disputes between my children. Another simple change I would make that I know would make for peace is just setting bedtime at an earlier hour. A tired household can also be an irritable one. I could also have saved some trouble by following this tip from a pastor: When dividing portions between children, have one child do the dividing and the other child do the choosing. This simple method brings positive pressure upon the child doing the dividing to be very honest and careful, which influences the other child to be fair as well.

I’m amazed at the answers we find in Scripture for these very common, everyday problems. Wisdom’s principles will work. The basis for true wisdom is true selflessness. And the secret to that is the righteousness that comes only from Christ, the Prince of Peace. He imparts the powerful grace of meekness to a strong man who loves to always be right. He gives the quiet and gentle spirit to a woman who would be by nature very contentious. Living by these principles will bring peace between individuals who would naturally not get along. Let us seek every day for this “amazing” grace and make every effort to live in peace with one another.

—Sis. Angela Gellenbeck




A peaceful home is a quiet, healing, restful little sanctuary from toil and trouble and should be the object of our prayers and endeavors.

I remember reading a testimony of a lady who said that after thirty-some years of marriage, she finally came to the realization that nagging never helped improve her marriage. She was also amazed at the changes that came to her husband’s life when she stopped. Oh, that we all could come to the realization of how ineffective nagging, complaining, murmuring, contention, and disrespect are in the home. They are the enemies of a peaceful home.

I’ve seen husbands and wives negatively belittle one another over and over, year after year—STOP IT! Does it ever help? Does it make changes for the better? Why continue on down that dead-end road?

We have all fallen prey to these negative carnal traits at one time or another, but let us not allow them to become a calloused habit or pattern in our lives. “The axe is laid to the root of the tree;” thank the Lord, there is victory over past hurts, power grabs and manipulative tendencies. A peaceful home can be ours.

—Bro. Bob Wilson