Proverbs 31:26 She [the virtuous woman] openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Ecclesiastes 10:12 The words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself.

Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.

Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Colossians 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;

13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

I Peter 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.

MEMORY VERSE: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. —Galatians 5:22-23

CENTRAL THOUGHT: The wise man and the virtuous woman both make graciousness and kindness the law of their conduct. Courtesy, gentleness, compassion, and forgiveness are qualities that should be practiced in every godly home.

WORD DEFINITIONS

Proverbs 31:26 “Wisdom”: skill; prudence and sound sense. “Law of kindness”: Instruction in kindness; loving instruction.

Ecclesiastes 10:12 “Gracious”: favor; grace; pleasantness.

Romans 12:10 “Kindly affectioned”: tenderly loving; devoted love; that special love shared between members of God’s family. This is the only occurrence of this word in Scripture. “In honour preferring one another”: in showing honor, outdoing one another; to go before; set an example to one another, not waiting until respect is shown on one side to return it again.

Ephesians 4:32 “Tenderhearted”: merciful; compassionate. “

Colossians 3:12 “Bowels”: the inward parts; affections; seat of the feelings; the capacity to feel deep emotions. “Mercies”: pity; compassions; deep feeling about someone’s difficulty or misfortune. “Kindness”: derived from a word meaning useful; profitable. “Divine kindness; the Spirit-produced goodness which meets the need and avoids human harshness (cruelty).”—HELPS Word Studies. “Humbleness of mind”: humility; modesty; having an humble opinion of oneself; a deep sense of one’s moral littleness. “Meekness”: gentleness; mildness; temperate, displaying the right blend of force and reserve (gentleness). “Strength in gentleness. Avoids unnecessary harshness, yet without compromising or being too slow to use necessary force.”—HELPS Word Studies. “Longsuffering”: patience; divinely regulated forbearance; being long-tempered.

13 “Forbearing one another”: endure; bear up; show tolerance. “Forgiving one another”: give freely; show favor; forgive; pardon; show kindness. “Quarrel”: blame; fault; to have a matter of complaint.

I Peter 3:8 “Be ye all of one mind”: agreeing; of one mind, intent, or purpose; divinely- inspired harmony; having the same perspective. “Having compassion one of another”: sympathetic; suffering or feeling the like with another. “Love as brethren”: referring to the affectionate love between fellow family members. ”Pitiful”: tenderhearted; compassionate. “Courteous”: the mind-set of love which is quick to show friendly, courteous behavior. One version renders this instead, “modest and humble”, while another has “kind and meek”. “It differs slightly from “humble,” in that it refers to a conscious effort to be truly humble.”— Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentary.

9 “Evil”: inner malice. “Railing”: abuse; reproach; insult.
10 “Guile”: deceit; treachery; exploitation of the naïve and undiscerning.
11 “Eschew”: turn away from; fully avoid by deliberate, decisive rejection. “Ensue”: earnestly pursue.

LESSON BACKGROUND

The virtuous woman who speaks to her family and instructs them with wisdom and kindness was being described in Proverbs 31 by a mother’s instructions to King Lemuel, who was either Solomon, as some scholars presume, or possibly Hezekiah. Others say the chapter is a continuation of the prophecy of Agur, from the preceding chapter. However that may be, these verses, written as a Hebrew acrostic, each verse beginning with a consecutive letter of the Hebrew alphabet, describe the character of a woman of genuine worth. Verse 26 gives one of the most beautiful features of the portrait being drawn of the virtuous woman: her loving, wise instruction given in a most gentle way.

A portrait is also drawn in Proverbs and in Ecclesiastes—which was very likely a public warning by Solomon, a publishing of his repentance—of a wise man. His business dealings, his honor, his authority, his humility, his faithfulness and diligence, his integrity—and very often, the wisdom and graciousness of his speech—are depicted as an example for the godly man to follow.

The twelfth chapter of Romans is a practical list of Christian duties. It follows the doctrinal teachings of the Gospel—how it related to both Jews and Gentiles—that were given in the first eleven chapters. Beginning with the entreaty for the believer to present his body wholly and completely to God in total surrender, Paul then gives instructions as to the mindset and conduct of a holy life. The affection he describes in verse 10 not only speaks of a tenderness, but a delight in feeling it.

Paul also wrote in his epistles to the Galatians, Ephesians and Colossians similar admonitions that may be applied not only to life together as saints of God, members together of one body, but also most certainly to members of a family dwelling together at home.

Peter, following specific instructions for a man and wife in the third chapter, sums up the admonition with counsel that would benefit all: fellow members of a congregation of believers, brothers and sisters in a family, extended family members, and without doubt, a husband and his wife. What a beautiful picture is painted of the circle of love—the selfless sharing, the mutual benefit, and the fellowship and comfort of that circle!

—Sis. Angela Gellenbeck

DISCUSSION:

1.  Essentials:  The teachings and instructions of a mother should always be given with what two important ingredients?
2. Truly Wise:  Compare Eccles. 10:12 with James 3:13.  What common characteristic of wisdom do these Scriptures portray?
3. Checklist:  Name the heart qualities outlined in the verses from Romans, Galatians, Ephesians and I Peter.

COMMENTS AND APPLICATION

I must honestly tell you that when I finished compiling these Scriptures and their definitions, I was convicted in my own heart and could not stop weeping for over an hour! I could see where there were times in raising my family that I had been sadly lacking in these areas.

Oh, the pain and sorrow we would avoid if we could keep these essential qualities in our hearts and manifest them to our families! “Thy gentleness has made me great,” David said, meaning, “You have made me to grow, abound and flourish by your gentle way of dealing with me.” Surely, that is how we can nurture our little ones and encourage our spouse to greatness— by that true compassion and deep sympathetic feeling that expresses itself in gentleness and kindness.

The little niceties that we often extend only to newcomers—may we keep them for home folks, too! We can soften requests by the simple word, “Please.” We can cultivate appreciation by always saying, “Thank you. I appreciate that.” We can look our loved ones in the eyes, and smile when we first see them in the morning, or when they come in during the day. A gentle caress, a warm hug, or an “I love you,” given sincerely, can brighten someone’s whole day.

Kindness truly is a simple way to make the home a heavenly place.

—Sis. Angela Gellenbeck

REFLECTIONS

A compelling, relevant, and heart-capturing picture is drawn in Nehemiah 9. God payed attention to His children. He talked and listened to them, He taught them, led them, fed them, and forbore with them.  Ultimately, He showed them multiple mercies with great kindness when they selfishly went their own way. Kindness takes time and effort and shines most brilliantly in situations where mercy must also be shown!

A cardinal rule of a company for which my husband and I used to work was this: Always answer the phone with a smile. It became a cultivated habit to portray a smile to potential customers whose business we coveted — regardless of our feelings. Our feelings should not be dictators of our actions. Rude, indifferent, or harsh words spoken because we are tired, had a long day, or are fighting our own inward battles come with a high price tag. The childhood saying that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” is simply not true.

Familiarity with the faults and/or weaknesses of our family members, whom we know best, should not be a reason to excuse a lack of kindness or good manners! Let us humbly ask forgiveness when we fail and prayerfully strive, by the grace of God, to cultivate the same kindness and courtesy in our lives which God has extended to us!

–Sis. Julie Elwell